Let's get one thing straight. Vows are super-duper special whether they are written by the bride/groom or the repeat-after-me vows. I mean, either way, you're getting married! Wooohoooo! Some couples don't want to write their own because the wedding day is full of so many other things. They don't want the extra stress and that is totally fine! But, if you're here in my little corner of the internet, you're most likely thinking about writing your own vows. Making your wedding vows personal, original and oh so, YOU!
Maybe you hate writing?! That's okay, me too! (Which is crazy because here I am - haha) Maybe you aren't that great at saying how you feel? Or, maybe you are worried that what you write/say won't be good enough. MDB Photography is here to help! We've been to a few weddings. ;)
Just like anything else, breaking it down will make it a WHOLE lot easier! If you take it piece by piece, it will most likely be enjoyable and even get you more excited to marry the love of your life! If that is even possible. I've put together eight tips that will make your soon-to-be husband/wife tear up, laugh and just feel like the luckiest person on planet earth!
1. Now Talk It Out (now talk it out)
If you got my reference to the Unk song, we're now best friends. ;) Make sure you and your loved one are on the same page. Do you both want to write your own vows? It would be pretty awkward if the groom did the repeat-after-me while the bride wrote her own. I'm not saying to share your vows before the wedding. Keep them secret until you're at the alter but, discuss the expectations and goals.
Some things to talk about:
- How personal will the vows be? Inside jokes or more generic?
- How long should the vows be? - Anything over 2 minutes is too long
- What will the mood be? Funny? Lovey-dovey? A mixture?
- Any topics that should be avoided?
- Should any religious elements be incorporated?
2. Notes About Your Love Story
An easy way to start writing your vows is to just quickly write down notes about your relationship. How did you feel when you first met them? When did you know he/she was the one? What did he/she do that made you realize they were the one? What are your favorite memories together? What do you love most about them? What do you want to accomplish together? What have you supported each other through? How has your life changed since meeting your partner?
3. Don't Forget "I LOVE YOU"
It may seem a little silly to even mention this but, you would be shocked at how many couples forget to mention those three words in their wedding vows.
4. Get Inspired!
Have you ever had a song play and instantly thought of your future husband/wife? Or maybe read a poem or book that made you rush with all the warm and fuzzy feelings you have for your partner? Once you've found a few inspirational phrases that speak to you, compare them! What do you like about them? Is it the tone? The words used? Then, incorporate that into your vows!
5. Make Promises!
They are called vows for a reason. Promises are one of the most important parts! I recommend coming up with promises/vows that are broad and specific. You're writing your OWN vows so, get personal!
Here's some examples of broad promises:
- I promise I'll always be there to support you
- I promise to nurture your dreams and to help you reach them.
- I promise to laugh with you, cry with you, and grow with you.
- I promise to share my whole heart with you, and to remember to show you how deeply I care for you, no matter the challenges that may come our way.
- I promise to love you loyally and fiercely—as long as I shall live.
Here's some examples of specific and personal promises:
- I promise to always let you have the television for Bachelor Mondays
- I promise to take out the garbage, even if it's freezing cold.
- I promise to unclog the drain, even though your hair is what clogs it.
- I promise to turn on the air conditioning when you are hot, even if I am freezing.
- I promise to root for the *insert sports team* even though I could truly care less who wins.
6. Make an Outline
Put pencil to paper. It's not concrete. You can go back and change the whole thing if you want to but, mental notes for vows are no good! Start super simple! Make four headlines of what you want to cover within your vows. Then, you can go back and tackle those topics.
Here's an example of an outline:
- Declare your love
- Praise *insert husband or wife's name*
- Make promises
- Final vow
I know, I know. This is a little throwback to my speech class. I'd say I would practice, didn't practice then, I would get in front of the whole class and think, "I should have practiced." It can be a little awkward but, it truly is the best way to prepare. Listen to yourself out loud. Maybe there's some awkward working? You could even practice in front of your best friend! Practice makes perfect and I know you want your vows to be perfect.
8. Make It Pretty!
As you go through the process of perfecting your vows, you're going to cross things out, draw arrows to move things around and add some words in here or there. It will look a little messy by the time the special day comes. When you know your vows are finalized, print or re-write a clean copy. This will make it easy to read when the time comes. Plus, it will most likely be in your photos. And. . . Bonus! It's a perfect keepsake!
Congratulations on your engagement! I'm so happy for you and I hope this helps you write your own vows for your special day!
Did you write or are you going to write your own vows? Why or why not? I would love to hear about it in the comments!